Texts From Last Night

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  (323): View more from California

  Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."

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  (323): Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel." http://tfl.nu/elen
  Replies (61) Good night (4754) Bad night (999)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking

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  (708): The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking http://tfl.nu/dj6c
  Replies (49) Good night (1521) Bad night (4138)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.

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  (612): no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship. http://tfl.nu/tdmr
  Replies (37) Good night (7786) Bad night (1396)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.

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  (615): I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower. http://tfl.nu/v1s4
  Replies (33) Good night (5517) Bad night (1163)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate

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  (919): Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate http://tfl.nu/0wu1
  Replies (3) Good night (4914) Bad night (1118)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  He had a curved dick....must be a european thing

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  (401): He had a curved dick....must be a european thing http://tfl.nu/mrr2
  Replies (19) Good night (1376) Bad night (2458)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.

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  (248): he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg. http://tfl.nu/hgt4
  Replies (24) Good night (1376) Bad night (5143)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think

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  (847): If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think http://tfl.nu/90ww
  Replies (8) Good night (2485) Bad night (723)
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  (818): View more from California

  Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place

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  (818): Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place http://tfl.nu/xlhx
  Replies (61) Good night (16732) Bad night (1252)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights

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  (617): I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights http://tfl.nu/d3p5
  Replies (6) Good night (2202) Bad night (686)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".

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  (443): I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send". http://tfl.nu/jpis
  Replies (6) Good night (1532) Bad night (427)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on

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  (225): I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on http://tfl.nu/vdcw
  Replies (2) Good night (380) Bad night (614)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.

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  (773): You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends. http://tfl.nu/9daq
  Replies (3) Good night (755) Bad night (548)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.

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  (306): but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal. http://tfl.nu/so21
  Replies (6) Good night (900) Bad night (367)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.

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  (608): First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong. http://tfl.nu/vr09
  Replies (1) Good night (538) Bad night (126)

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