Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Randomize
