I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
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