All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
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