Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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