Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
sarcasm needs its own font
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
