508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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