There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
