And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Randomize
