Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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