I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
