for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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