it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
