If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize