maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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