Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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