It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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