We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize
