So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Randomize