i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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