the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
