i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
