come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
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He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
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Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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