she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
