this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
