Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Randomize
