my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
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She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
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They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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