how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
They have beer where we have blood.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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