my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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