i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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