So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Randomize
