4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
