1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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