their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
