just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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