you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
