Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize