This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
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