OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
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His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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