i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
