one might say we're banned from that church
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
