u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
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Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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