Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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