There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
