apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
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