when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
