I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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