ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Guys Hate When Girls Do These 29 Cringeworthy Things
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame