Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"