is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling