yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck