He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.