yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
please come you make the beer taste better
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
