is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Randomize
