Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
me + whiskey = a bad person
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize
