ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize