We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize