i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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