im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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