i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
